Mary B and the City

Cupid isn’t stupid?

I started blogging almost 2 years ago, thanks to my former OBF (office boyfriend — the next best thing after a gay boyfriend), Phil. He was a marketing agency colleague turned office lunchmate turned off-the-clock soulmate. Ok fine, maybe that’s a stretch but I’ve always thought very highly of him. Mostly because he’s the only platonic heterosexual guy companion who hasn’t tried to upgrade “with benefits.” Also because he’s painfully hilarious & unconventionally genuine.

We’d spend our hour-long breaks frequenting neighborhood Subway shops, mulling over life & love, while enjoying a toasted $5 menu purchase and a delicious ice cold fountain diet coke. Truthfully, it should have been a reality show series. At one of these afternoon therapeutic interventions, he introduced me to his online banter known as a blog, and without flinching…knew I had to get me one of those. I wasn’t freelance writing at the moment and missed the craft.

Today we’re both employed at separate companies getting paid for creative jobs and have done a B-/C+ job at staying in touch. Most recently we had a 2 month lull which manifested in an accidental game of the silent treatment = pure punishment. Life can zip by and squeezing in a phone call at mutually convenient times can feel like a Rubik’s Cube situation. 

But the thing about having a blog is it allows you to “stay in touch” with friends without even having to talk. Theoretically it’s a brilliant concept, yet has also frequently bitten me in the ass when I hear, “Why did I have to hear about that [information/story/gossip] through your blog?” Doh. Maybe I’ve unknowingly become too reliant on the 1-way messaging system and need to do a better job of remembering digits.

During our catch-up convo earlier, I summoned him for some content inspiration as I’m feeling out of sorts today [which could be a post in and of itself, but have learned to not write under the influence of anger]. “Valentine’s Day, duh.” Touche, except I already posted an anti rant recently…describing my allergy for cheesy, cliche jewelry commercials that run regularly around this time. No lie — even while alone in my home, I literally make a verbal yaking sound every single time one plays. 

The Former OBF then prompts me to read this recent post. [His witty written observations are now featured in a segment called “Things That Make Me a Bad Boyfriend” in the blog Shmitten Kitten].

“Every year, I hear the same tired thing from every girl I talk to who hates Valentine’s Day: ‘I think it’s bullshit that we pick one day a year to celebrate love. I want a guy who will bring me flowers and take me out to a fancy dinner on a random Wednesday, not some cheesy corporate holiday.’ I get what you’re saying here, but here’s the thing: if you’re dating a great dude, he will buy you flowers and take you out to a nice dinner on that random Wednesday AND on Valentine’s Day. If your boyfriend is dialing it in 364 days a year and only treating you like a lady on Valentine’s Day, the problem ISN’T Valentine’s Day… it’s your idiot BOYFRIEND.”

I’ll give the guy some credit, as he clearly is speaking to my type: The Cupid Hater. Actually, correction. I don’t hate the chubby little guy, I am just irritated by how manufactuered the holiday has become. Not to mention how much more pressure it puts on us girls with sidekicks, “Hey what are YOU doing for V-day? Well MY boyfriend/manfriend/husband is doing [insert incredibly romantic gesture here], what is YOURS doing?”

So in honor of Phil’s stop-bitching-about-Valentine’s-Day argument [point taken], I’d like to create a counter post to my previous one. Here is a personal list of the benefits/perks/silverlining that could potentially come from February 14, 2010.

1. A coworker, my boss and/or Mr. Big gift me with chocolate.
2. I get to eat chocolate.
3. My roommate’s manfriend takes her on a surprise out of town trip and I get the bunker to myself.
4. My manfriend gives me anything with a Hallmark logo on it.
5. My manfriend takes me, or a girfriend & I go see the romantic comedy movie Valentine’s Day.
6. Desperate Housewives is a new episode.
7. It doesn’t snow.
8. I lose 10 pounds from a miracle chocolate diet.

Cupid’s Heyday.

As part of my new gig’s responsibilities, I manage all PR efforts for the company. But instead of simply waiting for inquiries to pop up & react, I’ve proactively joined an online group where reporters from around the country send their story ideas and do a mass call-out for credible sources and/or consumers to interview. Simply genius. Apparently the idea started out as a Facebook page and morphed into a 100,000+ following — now it functions as a self-sustaining site. This outlet allows seamless and fast communicate for the media to lock down experts in various fields and simultaneously gives companies near effortless publicity.

I couldn’t help but notice during today’s feed that a large majority of story ideas are dabbling in a particular timely arena.

“Love at First Site Plane Stories” – “Unusual Marriage Proposals” – “Valentine’s Day Gifts for Pets” – “Need Expert to Discuss Desire & Sexuality” – “Amazing Engagements & Proposals” – “Outlandish Wedding Proposals” – “Couple activity ideas for Valentine’s Day” – “Valentine’s Day engagements” and the requests go on and on.

God help me. February 14 is right around the corner. Cupid’s back with vengeance.

Here’s the thing. I love me a solid romantic gesture. Especially when they’re least expected. Especially when they’re original, thoughtful, meaningful and/or sincere. Especially when they’re “just because.” But I cannot stand cheesy, overt television commercials concocted from 10 different jeweler businesses, all depicting a perfect picturesque clip straight out of a movie. I wish, for once, one of these shops would step outside the faux script and show a real, relatable story. Because let’s face it – we’re not dumb enough to believe that *that* is how it really plays out. If there is one thing I’ve learned in marketing to today’s consumers it is that we’re smart cookies, and, we don’t like to be treated like idiots.

The media has managed to saturate our minds with purchase-inducing ideas, brought to you by paying sponsors, in an evil plot disguised by bows to push cash out of our pockets, completely striping away the whole point of its significance. Not to mention giving us gals even more reason(s) to hold our men accountable and open up room for error, and disappointment, if they don’t come through to the likes of these ads. I’d personally rather have a guy surprise me any day of the week with a sweet message, an unexpected homecooked meal, flowers for no reason at all, or an impromptu drive-by ColdStone just for being me, rather than a mechanical agenda pushed by advertising on a predetermined set day.

Those silly 30 second scenes are already terribly obnoxious. And now, leveraging the trusty Valentine holiday will only exacerbate my already extreme levels of nauseousness when it goes to gifting precious metals.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve celebrated the annual occasion many times over since my youth, including the exchange of heart-shaped cards, chocolate truffles, long-stemmed red roses, table-for-2 dinners among other cookie cutter initiatives. But I honor love day in and day out and don’t need a merchandising display to prompt my participation; the for-profit promotions have really gotten out of hand. Nothing feels authentic anymore. What happened to handmade greetings, poems, and personalized sentiments?

While I delicately step off my ruby red Soap Box, let the record show that I am more than happy to claim a Valentine this calendar year. RSVPing to “Singles Awareness Day” is a party I’m happy to miss.