MaryB and the City

Love is love.

I might have been a gay man in my past life.

Maybe that isn’t necessarily true, and I don’t have any proof per se, but my affinity for homosexual guys is progressively edging off the charts. Even my manfriend has started to pick up on the blatant sexual orientation reverse discrimination.

Me: “I like that guy.”

Mr. Big: “Who, our waiter?”

Me: “Yeah, he’s really polite and helpful. I also like his retro Adidas shoes. And, he’s fabulously gay.”

Mr. Big: (cue shaking head followed by laughing at my unapologetic silliness)

Honestly though, in my experience, the majority of this well-dressed population seem to comprise the best heterosexual male aspects (easy on the eyes, generally laid back, don’t seem to hold grudges or inflict drama the way stereotypical females are capable of), but also simultaneously manifest the feminine qualities that I adore and treasure as a straight lady (strong communicators, discuss pop culture like an auctioneer rattles off antiques at a bidding event, admire fashion as an art form, and would much rather watch *anything* on E! Television than spend hours on the La-Z Boy recliner regurgitating SportsCenter highlights) ~ love.

This last year I finally decided to stop fighting my standard-issue Catholic-raised guilt and admit that I do believe we reincarnate through multiple lives; energy never dies and we have entirely too much to learn in a mere one-time-only 70-90 years. Our indefinite life force is magnificent and beyond incredible to understand while on earth.

Speaking of souls, I’ve also had countless messages from spirits who have crossed over, but I’ll have to save that doozy for another blog post.

About 10 years before granting myself permission to own personal beliefs that negate organized religion fed to me as a child, I decided that I have absolutely no place to judge who someone loves. Love is love. Period.

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Last month while sitting at my desk, the phone rang at work. It was a sales call. Usually these are annoying and I can’t get the person off the phone quick enough. But this time was different. Much different.

It was David, a producer from the Dougall Fraser radio show. Until then, I hadn’t heard of the program or the host for that matter, but would soon become very familiar. Now I consider myself a loyal, devoted fan.

The gentleman explained that he is a big supporter of my company’s products, especially a top-selling headcollar for dogs, and wanted to know if we’d be interested in sponsoring their nationally syndicated show…put on by none other than a gay psychic.

He had me at hello. And don’t think I didn’t notice that the word ‘chic’ is in the job title.

Since the pet products manufacturer typically does not participate in traditional advertising, I knew the opportunity wouldn’t pan out, but figured a giveaway contest could be a fun twist.

Next thing I knew we were talking well beyond business and trickled into personal matters including my blog, interest in clairvoyants, devotion to Sex and the City, and our mutual respect of MAC make-up (he used to be a make-up artist for the brand ~ love).

Several business-drenched-in-personal-conference-calls later he asked me out of the blue, “Have you ever thought about writing a book?” I explained while wearing an XL grin behind the phone mic, “Actually, yes, I’m writing one now!”

“I’m not sure if I already told you this, but Dougall is my partner, we’re married. He wrote a book. I’d be happy to introduce you to him, and set up a call so you can ask him questions on his process and how he got published. I’ll send you a copy if you’d like.”

A few days later, the book arrived in my mailbox and I couldn’t read it fast enough. But You Knew That Already, What a Psychic Can Teach You About Life was a treat to read and easy to finish. I even did 90 minutes of consecutive cardio at the gym (unheard of) because I didn’t want to put the piece down.

At the risk of sounding like a crazy person who is off their meds, I felt like his friend by the last page. Ok that’s a lie…by the first few chapters. I guess that is a testament not only to what a great storyteller he is, but also what a fun personality Dougall emanates. Ok that’s not the whole truth either…I also related to his issues with weight, putting Ms. Winfrey on The Highest Pedestal Possible, and the effortless ability to show his vulnerability – front and center.

Once the book was over, I still wanted more Dougall inspiration in my life. So I popped in earphones and listened to at least seven recorded radio shows archived on his web site, back to back. I decided to knock out a bunch of busy work that required little concentration to justify said multi-tasking and updated an Excel sheet of media contacts for hours, all while listening to his energetic voice interview guests in the medium industry, chat about David and Dougall’s adorable dog Bernie, and recap reality show drama.

‘Queer Guy with a Third Eye’ is his tag line. He can see people’s auras and is teaching a seminar called ‘Color is my Prozac.’ How great is that? ~ love.

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David helped schedule a time to speak with my new self-proclaimed BFF psychic/author/radio host/life coach. While at an out-of-town business conference, I typed up questions to get my thoughts together and as 4:30 p.m. Eastern approached, I started to feel a bit nervous, because he’s – well – famous. [Note: Famous is subjective depending on who you ask… I realize this, but the guy was booked on the Oprah Show for God’s sake, and appeared several times on BRAVO’s Real Housewives to boot]. However the second I heard his voice on the other end of the line, all of the butterflies went away, because he spoke to me as if we were already friends.

I literally lost count of how many times Dougall said throughout the conversation, “I know so-and-so at X publishing house (or agent); I’d be happy to introduce you to her.”

“It’s who you know,” he explained.

I’ve heard and even used this line before; it’s how I’ve landed 90% of my jobs to date. But the selflessness and generosity he conveyed to a near complete stranger [who secretly wishes they were BFF’s] was unexpected. He also mentioned in a very casual, matter-of-fact manner that he is grateful for how many people helped him along the way to building his career as well as getting published…and is happy to help others (like moi) do the same. Call it being nice, or call it karma ~ love.

I may or may not have done a few twirls and hops in my hotel room after chatting for an hour.

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The first time David and I spoke, on what should have just been another sales pitch 60 second call, I told him that this all “feels like serendipity.” We’ve been swapping social media strategies, dishing on my life with Mr. Big, and genuinely forming a bi-coastal friendship. Meanwhile I feel an undeniable connection to a warm, sensitive, spiritual, intuitive, and absolutely hilarious animated man out of the closet, David’s partner.

Dougall shared invaluable insight and sentiments with me, and I will always be thankful. There is no doubt in my being that I was meant to cross paths with him for a purpose beyond a glorified albeit sincere gay man crush.

Despite all of the learnings and dream fulfillment networking I’ve piled up in hopes of becoming a published author, the most moving takeaway from this entire experience thus far, is getting a small glimpse of the affection they have for one another.

When I opened the hardcover for the first time and read his short and simple dedication, “For David, for everything” – I melted in my chair.

David had me at hello. Dougall had me from the very first page.

Case in point. When they met face-to-face for the very first time…

Page 236: “His head tilted to the side as he gave me a shy smile. As we made eye contact, these words passed through my mind: I love you.”

~love, is love