MaryB and the City

Operation: Let’s move forward.

A highly anticipated, some might even call it controversial weekend has come and gone, and I’ve lived to tell about it.

When Mr. Big and I began what would become a long reconciliation process last summer, my focus from that point on was 100% surrounding us. I took it one day at a time – nothing more, nothing less. I also prioritized me as the #1 person to get on board in the relationship.

If my inner circle had questions, I was happy to answer them, but that was the extent of my energy. I was never looking for a thumbs up, advice, or approvals.

Whereas during past break-ups, I was seemingly more concerned about everyone but me. Did loved ones support me? Could they be happy for me? The check list of needed endorsements went on and on and on.

But this time around, seeing as though it was the equivalent of a cat’s ninth life, I knew without even necessarily consciously making the decision…that every facet of the process would need to be different.

And so, as we’ve moved along, better than I could have ever expected, it was finally time to reintroduce him back to my family. Because let’s face it ~ the hope is that someday my manfriend will be part of ‘my family’ too. The last interaction when my 5 siblings and him had seen each other was two Christmas holidays ago. To say that our final break-up [only a few short months later] poured salt directly into their wounds would be an understatement.

In March of this year, one of my brothers suggested we get together this summer to ‘fold him back into the mix.’ Not only was I surprised by the gesture, but also humbled. Despite all of the past transgressions, hurt feelings, and contradictions…a family member was able to rise above and attempt to move on along with me.

We booked our travel schedules and would meet in New York ~ he’d come up from Atlanta & I’d make my way from Virginia.

Just like a job interview, the suspense got pretty intense, especially in the final days leading up to the reunion. Would there be heated questions? A round table discussion? Would they throw him into a proverbial fire pit by way of a tongue lashing?

Although I’m inherently a realist, I’m also very much an optimist and could only speculate that they would stay true to our family’s protocol and play it cool. On the other hand, I didn’t necessarily put it completely past someone, say, if they consumed a lot of alcohol and their opinions or jaded emotions surfaced.

But it never happened.

He showed up with his head held high, yet was very respectful, courteous, and engaging. I imagine his tail was tucked somewhere between his legs, and was ready for cross fire should the situation arise. The hot pink elephant in the room kept her distance and quickly disappeared into the dark.

In the original conversation when my brother made the suggestion about a get together, he said, “I want to observe how you two act around each other. That’s all I’m really interested in; I think the interaction will speak for itself.”

Our chemistry and conviction in our love shined through; I’m sure of it.

To be a part of this resilient and loving family who genuinely wants their counterparts to be happy makes me very proud. That isn’t some lovely expression that sounds nice on paper; they truly mean it.

I know the people who share my DNA don’t want to see their sister burned again, and if they had the power, would protect me from future third degree blisters on my heart. But they ultimately respect my decisions and stand behind me as I navigate through this crazy thing called life.

Last but certainly not least, the final box we need to check in Operation: Let’s Move Forward is…my parents.