Peace of mind.
My life has taken an unexpected 180 degree turn recently. And yet, I’ve never felt this level of peace before. That’s when you know the Man upstairs is up to something, doing His thing at a busy workshop. Although I have a crush on Santa, with his protruding belly, hearty laugh and fabulous black boots, this holiday season will be spent writing gratitude lists to Big G instead.
At the risk of launching a soap box soliloquy, winter festivities have really turned into one big monetary mess. Don’t get me wrong — I love gift giving…would even consider putting the act as a skill set on my resume. Finding the perfect pairing to someone’s personality and interests makes me feel all warm inside. But the true spirit of the season has become lost in filling up shopping carts.
Not being employed for the first time, while overlapping Christmas, is stretching creativity levels in paying homage to my inner circle. I’ve personally removed the pressure from my shoulders of playing St. Nicholas, distributing presents to 20 immediate family members and a dozen close friends. It is my hope that every single day they each know through my actions and engaging attributes how important they are. But perhaps a small token of appreciation, with the expertise of Betty Crocker, will help me whip up a sweet, affordable batch of baked love.
Speaking of love through action, Mr. Big continues to follow through. Just like when a politician crafts and delivers eloquent, moving speeches…you can’t help but wonder in the back of your head if they’ll actually have something to show for it. My number one disappointment in our past relationship was not being included in a meaningful way on a daily basis. But keeping in line with the platform for Change, in a mere 7 days, we’ve joined a social club to play Dodgeball together, am being taken to his company party tonight not only as a date but an opportunity to network with professionals, accompanying him on a tacky tour limo ride with his group of friends on Friday, and Saturday he is joining me for a holiday outing with my sidekicks. We have always made a dynamic team of two on an amateur league, but we’re finally taking the duoship beyond our own doorstep to the major league. And if practice makes perfect, we’re on track for a winning season.
Last night I had an intense ichat session with one of my favorite man friends. He is distraught over whether or not he has lost his chance of happily ever after with a very special gal. I tried to instill a sense of absolute trust that the universe knows what it’s doing, as long as you let it. My heart knows that not only does everything happen for a reason, but it happens on God’s watch. Once you stop trying to manipulate the dials, turning back or speeding up time, is when anxiety and fear evaporates. My faith has only strengthened through turmoil — there seems to be a clear correlation between giving up control while living consciously, and having complete calmness distributed through every major lymph node in my system.
Intellectually I’ve always believed that things are exactly as they’re meant to be. But today, I can actually feel it.
