Phone a friend.
At the risk of sounding trite, I have a hunch that the Universe draws the last 30-something single-ones-still-standing-solo, together.
Tonight while catching up with my coveted DVR and enjoying Oprah’s last season which has been far from disappointing…a friend called. I looked at the cable box clock before answering and thought, “Hmm, 8:45 is a little late [pause to reflect on how ridiculous that sounds, and remember my age has brought severe early onset tiredness], I wonder if anything is wrong.”
The conversation went something like this.
Single Friend: So I’m driving home from a book club meeting and…
Me: Wait, what? You’re in a book club?
Single Friend: Haven’t been in 6 months, but it doesn’t matter - no judgment from the other members. Anyway, I had a moment and you were the first person who came to mind who would appreciate the story.
Me: [anxious and intrigued] Oh?
Single Friend: So all of these girls are laughing, having a good time, talking about the book when it occured to me — a few are pregnant, some already have kids, and every. single. one. is. married.
Me: [Laughs] Yes…
Single Friend: Two years ago, this wouldn’t have even dawned on me. But for some reason, it did tonight. They are dressed in business suits, have husbands with high-paying jobs, and wear huge rocks on their fingers. I show up in gym clothes.
Me: I get it, totally. I’ve had that moment many times, where you just stop - look around the table or room, and realize that you can’t relate to them on so many levels.
Single Friend: Right, exactly. The conversation would always come back around to their families, and I go home to my dogs. I just couldn’t even imagine right now, having to come home and take care of a baby. Is something wrong with me? Do I need to see a counselor [laughs]?
Me: Nope.
Single Friend: I’m happy…I really like my life. But there was just something about seeing everyone else living in such a different world than me, that made me think.
I’ve only known this friend for less than a year. We work together and among 80+ people in the organization, are the only two unmarried, childless female coworkers in the entire building. We regularly attend department-initiated baby showers and have had our fair share of sheet cake; pink, blue, pink, blue, pink, blue. While fellow mothers shout out descriptives of their thoughtful, hand-picked gifts and why specifically they’re the best bottles, her and I are focusing on how delicious the icing tastes.
We’ve formed a bond. Inside and outside of the business. While there are many points of difference in our daily interests, we definitely share that particular commonality. Actually, we even share the same name on our birth certificate.
As a rule - I truly believe that through every step and facet of our complicated lives on earth, people are brought into the picture for a purpose at particular moments in time. Usually to learn a lesson, or to make the lessons a little less painful. Her and I each come with our own set of amazing friends that pre-date our infant companionship; those people are there through thick and thin. But the truth is, they run a tight ship with busy schedules and have a much different set of priorities than us.
Simply put - she knows that at a quarter to 9 on a Wednesday night, I’m sitting on an oversized sofa by myself.
In our case, neither one of us throws pity parties, nor invite each other to attend any unforeseen ones. But it is in these brief moments of innocent inner banter, where it just helps to know that you can call someone who understands how you feel. Maybe it isn’t on a game show to help win a million dollar prize, but the comfort of knowing someone will pick up - and listen - is priceless.
