MaryB and the City

Best Staged Plans.

Life changing.

That’s how I describe the day Claire Cook entered my life. Sure I loved the movie, Must Love Dogs, which is based on her best-selling book…but the gravitational force that occured all around after hearing the author speak, changed me.

She was the final keynote speaker at the skirt! writing conference I was attending in Atlanta. Before she dived into her insightful speech, first she asked all 100 attendees to write our name on a small piece of paper and put it in a bin that was passed around the room. At the end of the hour, a name would randomly be drawn and the winner would receive a journal and tote. 

Claire explained that she goes through this exact ritual at the beginning of every speaking engagement — and has kept in touch with each person who takes home the prize. Each person has also gone onto becoming a published author, and she even attends their debut launch party.

I can’t explain how or why or when psychic-tendancies wash over me, but the moment my name was placed in the bag…with certainty, I knew mine would be the one picked.

And it was.

My eyes started to water. Not so much because the symbol was somehow a magical spell for my dreams to be achieved. But because it felt like the Universe was saying loud and clear, “You believe you’re talented enough to become published, but the reality of it actually happening feels too far out of reach. Well guess what? It’s not. You can do this. You will do this.”

Ever since that day, my world continues to lead me toward crossing off pre-pubbed in front of the word: author. I know it’s fundamentally because my consciousness shifted; I started to believe, really believe. And Claire Cook directly and indirectly facilitated that. Through the serendipitious token that evidently my belief system needed, but also through her empowering stories and encouraging lessons.

I cracked open the authographed copy of her book Best Staged Plans a few weeks ago. There was just no way the summer could come to an end and the 238 pages not be consumed…something about it just screams: Read me with sand between your toes.

Sandy Sullivan is an expert at transforming cluttered rooms into attractive houses ready for sale. If only reinventing her life were as easy as choosing the perfect paint color. She’s eager to put her family’s suburban Boston home on the market, to downsize, and to simplify her own life. But she must first deal with her foot-dragging husband and her grown son, who has moved back home after college to inhabit the basement “bat cave.”

After reading them the riot act, Sandy takes a job staging a boutique hotel in Atlanta recently acquired by her best friend’s boyfriend. The good news is that she can spend time with her recently married daughter Shannon in Atlanta. The bad news is Shannon finds herself heading back to Boston for job training, leaving Sandy and her southern son-in-law, Chance, as reluctant roommates. If that’s not complicated enough, Sandy begins to suspect that her best friend’s boyfriend may be seeing another woman on the side.

Just like Claire was relatable in person, so are her characters in a hardback. The book is humorous and heartfelt. And something I especially treasured is how short the chapters are. I absolutely loved how effortlessly the page turning took place…and if I needed to stop at a moment’s notice, the bookmark wouldn’t get swallowed alive inside of a ridiculously long section.

For example, when sneaking out of the office during my lunch break, enjoying food and fodder at the same time…but quickly needing to head back; there’s nothing worse than having to close the covers to a book and feel total abandonment. Claire keeps you covered with a sense of closure every few pages.

To be honest, I was initially worried that I couldn’t relate to the main character, a middle-aged mother who covets her ‘readers’ (reading glasses) the way I swoon over stilettos. But Claire did an amazing job of building the storylines, filled with witty one-liners throughout, that the age gap never left me hungry.

One aspect in particular that I adored about Sandy’s character is how neurotic she can be at times, and is also super genuine.

• She talks to her GPS as if it’s a friend in the passenger seat, finding ironic metaphors in redirecting routes on the road, and in life.
• She befriends a homeless woman who she passes on the street and comes up with creative ways to help her get life back in order.
• And last but not least, she goes shopping for a paint ball gun with her BFF in pursuit of getting revenge on an unfaithful partner (absolutely brilliant strategy!).

I took away this message: Even someone who professionally stages rooms, homes, and hotels to appear perfect — cannot force her own surroundings to be pristine. We all in our own right stage plans for life, but it’s important not to let the meaningful people and moments pass us by in the meantime when we’re busy plotting.

I’m sad to say good-bye to my 12-12:30 p.m. daily date, today was our last one. But I guess that just means I’ll need to backtrack and pick up her other seven novels.

Besides, the Life Changer offered advice for me and my fellow writers back in June, to actively support each other. So now, on a regular basis, I purchase and review my peers’ books.

I’ll be sure to share this sentiment with Claire, and explain how she influenced me greatly…when we’re standing around a table at my book signing.

Fashion night out.

On my first day at the job as a Brand Manager for a pet products company, I knew my boss and I would get along just fine.

Her cell phone started ringing; Sex & the City’s theme song blasted from the pink-cased iphone — her custom ring tone for incoming calls. Then and there, we’d become sole mates.

One might think it is hard to make pet gadgets appear sexy, but oh no ~ her department oversees the fashion and fun category.

A few months later, she recycled (two bags) of stilettos from her closet to moi. You see, she was running out of room in the shoe closet. The shoe closet that was custom built by her husband. God bless that man.

During our weekly status meetings, we inevitably dish about something…anything fashion-related before diving into business; complimenting my styling choice on that particular day, eyeing her new fabulous chunky necklace, or asking the other to ‘be on the look out’ for XYZ garment while ‘in the [shopping] field.’

Many more months passed, and she introduced me to Anthropologie. Previously it was a store I never paid any attention to because, frankly, my budget didn’t allow for us to seriously date ~ or even casually court for that matter. But you see, Krista is an SSS: savvy, strategic shopper. She became my personal mentor…a store ambassador if you will. 

In all of my life, I’ve never met anyone who possesses such thoughtful, calculated, premeditated skills like her, including: micro-monitoring the Anthro web site for sales (note: discounts are coveted to come by as many pieces cinch the wallet), calling in outfits [brilliant!] to be placed on hold as soon as they do go on sale…until she can physically make it into the store for pick-up, saving the only coupon they distribute annually (birthdays) and cashing it in when their semi-annual sale launches to double-up on savings at check-out, and last but not least — on occasion, purchasing in cash so the husband won’t be privy to her palpable passion via the bank statement.

During a very important writing conference I attended in the spring, knowing I’d be meeting editors, agents, and authors, I took it upon myself to check out the inventory and acquired some adorable, affordable reduced ticket pieces.

The selection crosses many style tastes ~ from 1950’s-esqe dresses, to sophisticated attire, to sassy palates, to polished/conservative ensembles. Even the showroom’s backdrop is inviting; think Pottery Barn full of clothing racks and comfy chairs to rest upon between fitting room visits.

My boss continues to fill me in whenever she spots an eye-catching garment, a “wish list” item taken down in price, or strictly to co-gush over lovely frocks.

It didn’t really surprise me the day she squealed, “I’m going to be in a fashion show!! My sales gal at Anthro asked if I would participate.”

Krista is beautiful — I mean, really, really Barbie Doll beautiful. She’s also really, really short. But given the fact she’s such a loyal customer, can rock 5” heels like no one’s business, and exudes serious confidence, the invitation was a no-brainer in my envious humble opinion.

New York City lives in my heart, and although I couldn’t make it to The Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week, my local runway show would happily serve as a sufficient supplement. Here is a snapshot of the Fashion Night Out, starting with my favorite finds on the floor, followed by what I intrepret to be classified: Boho-Chic.

anthropologie, fall 2011 collection.

Lustful lashes.

Bravo’s Real Housewives television series must be karmically connected to me, because the show indirectly and directly crosses my path on the regular. I’ve been an avid follower of the show for quite some time and love me some Andy Cohen in the after shows.

The first overlap outside of my living room was meeting several cast members at VIP events through business affairs ~ Pet Socialite: The Countess Luann de Lesseps {twice}, Sonja Morgan, Alex McCord & Simon van Kempen (NYC), Caroline Manzo & Dina Manzo (NJ).

Then I partnered with Dougall Fraser, psychic & author, for a promotion on his nationally syndicated radio show. He has appeared as a guest more than once on the Orange County RH docu-series.

And mixed in the the middle of those reality TV celebrity run-ins, I was introduced to a relatively new product on the market ~ Cilea. Founded in 2009, the company classifies this all-natural beauty tool as an Eyelash Growth Stimulator. And guess who is the spokesperson? Vicki Gunvalson from Orange County RH.

Of course she is.

To be totally honest, I *try* my best not to judge anyone — particularly video edited for high-drama/high-ratings reels because you never actually see the entire ‘scene’ - but I have to say that if there is one observation I can genuinely make about Vicki from the comfort of my couch…it’s that she is super business savvy and takes her career extremely seriously. So if she would publicly endorse a product with her name behind it, right away I knew there had to be some validity behind the potion.

Cilea™ sponsored a writing conference I attended back in June through skirt! magazine, and a lovely lady who helps promote the liquid plumper encouraged me to try it out once the weekend was over. Ginger was nice enough to give me a discount code, so I ended up only paying 50% of the regular retail cost, which is $70.00. {I’ve noticed their Facebook fan page often runs specials so I’m sure consumers can cash in too at any given time}.

A special story that I found touching is when Ginger told me how she learned about amplifying eye whiskers. Her mother is a cancer survivor and lost most of her brows/lashes during chemo; being natural with no side effects, she used it to help grow them back!

                                                                —

It is safe to say that since day 1, the biggest asset I possess are my eyes.

The eyelashes, however, are not. And to pour salt in the wound, I can’t seem to find a reliable mascara; they all flake or clump. So showing them wholesome love, particularly without chemicals, seemed like a worthwhile endeavor.

For starters, the package design is adorable, small in size (think mascara applicator), and the actual product itself is clear so no evidence is visible.

The active ingredients are B vitamins, amino acids (i.e. protein,) peptides and botanical extracts. According to the web site, it stimulates the follicle and helps the hair grow – similar to any hair growth product. Second, it strengthens the junction (part of eyelid where the lash is held in place) so it’s able to hold onto the thicker, heavier lashes.

Unfortunately I didn’t take a photo sans make-up, so do not have a raw ‘before’ shot. But here is what I’ve previously been working with.

The time investment is barely noticable. All you have to do is apply it once a day (twice if you’re an overachiever), just like you would eye liner. I only used it on my upper lash, but you’re also welcome to swipe it along your lower line too.

Two weeks under my trial belt, and I was starting to see a noticable change in length.

Four weeks in, and this is when I observed a substantial change (the biggest jump in the entire process). Literally I was ‘aware’ of them. Similar to when you see an abstract object out of the corner of your eye…that’s how my maturing lashes felt. The research stats claim that clinical tests showed as much as 82% growth at this stage and while the number sounds staggering, according to my own documentation — evidently it’s true!

And finally in week six, there was a little bit more fullness and density that developed. Surprisingly, there is still quite a bit of product left in the container; a nice bonus for maintenance.

Wikipedia makes an accurate claim that in many cultures, longer eyelashes are considered a sign of femininity. So it makes sense that our image-driven society produces ‘extra help’ including false extensions. Products like Latisse® are on the market too but the downside is you need a prescription, can’t apply it to your lower lids, it has side effects such as itchy/red eyes, causes brown pigmentation on the lid, and it’s made from manmade ingredients that I can’t pronounce.

                                                                    —

Takeaway ~ I definitely recommend giving Cilea a shot if your lashes are lagging. Know that once you stop using it, eventually your lashes will go back to ‘normal.’ Which I suppose is par for the course including what would happen if I stopped highlighting my wanna-be blond mane.

Visit www.cilealash.com/ for more information.

Love is love.

I might have been a gay man in my past life.

Maybe that isn’t necessarily true, and I don’t have any proof per se, but my affinity for homosexual guys is progressively edging off the charts. Even my manfriend has started to pick up on the blatant sexual orientation reverse discrimination.

Me: “I like that guy.”

Mr. Big: “Who, our waiter?”

Me: “Yeah, he’s really polite and helpful. I also like his retro Adidas shoes. And, he’s fabulously gay.”

Mr. Big: (cue shaking head followed by laughing at my unapologetic silliness)

Honestly though, in my experience, the majority of this well-dressed population seem to comprise the best heterosexual male aspects (easy on the eyes, generally laid back, don’t seem to hold grudges or inflict drama the way stereotypical females are capable of), but also simultaneously manifest the feminine qualities that I adore and treasure as a straight lady (strong communicators, discuss pop culture like an auctioneer rattles off antiques at a bidding event, admire fashion as an art form, and would much rather watch *anything* on E! Television than spend hours on the La-Z Boy recliner regurgitating SportsCenter highlights) ~ love.

This last year I finally decided to stop fighting my standard-issue Catholic-raised guilt and admit that I do believe we reincarnate through multiple lives; energy never dies and we have entirely too much to learn in a mere one-time-only 70-90 years. Our indefinite life force is magnificent and beyond incredible to understand while on earth.

Speaking of souls, I’ve also had countless messages from spirits who have crossed over, but I’ll have to save that doozy for another blog post.

About 10 years before granting myself permission to own personal beliefs that negate organized religion fed to me as a child, I decided that I have absolutely no place to judge who someone loves. Love is love. Period.

                                                                   —

Last month while sitting at my desk, the phone rang at work. It was a sales call. Usually these are annoying and I can’t get the person off the phone quick enough. But this time was different. Much different.

It was David, a producer from the Dougall Fraser radio show. Until then, I hadn’t heard of the program or the host for that matter, but would soon become very familiar. Now I consider myself a loyal, devoted fan.

The gentleman explained that he is a big supporter of my company’s products, especially a top-selling headcollar for dogs, and wanted to know if we’d be interested in sponsoring their nationally syndicated show…put on by none other than a gay psychic.

He had me at hello. And don’t think I didn’t notice that the word ‘chic’ is in the job title.

Since the pet products manufacturer typically does not participate in traditional advertising, I knew the opportunity wouldn’t pan out, but figured a giveaway contest could be a fun twist.

Next thing I knew we were talking well beyond business and trickled into personal matters including my blog, interest in clairvoyants, devotion to Sex and the City, and our mutual respect of MAC make-up (he used to be a make-up artist for the brand ~ love).

Several business-drenched-in-personal-conference-calls later he asked me out of the blue, “Have you ever thought about writing a book?” I explained while wearing an XL grin behind the phone mic, “Actually, yes, I’m writing one now!”

“I’m not sure if I already told you this, but Dougall is my partner, we’re married. He wrote a book. I’d be happy to introduce you to him, and set up a call so you can ask him questions on his process and how he got published. I’ll send you a copy if you’d like.”

A few days later, the book arrived in my mailbox and I couldn’t read it fast enough. But You Knew That Already, What a Psychic Can Teach You About Life was a treat to read and easy to finish. I even did 90 minutes of consecutive cardio at the gym (unheard of) because I didn’t want to put the piece down.

At the risk of sounding like a crazy person who is off their meds, I felt like his friend by the last page. Ok that’s a lie…by the first few chapters. I guess that is a testament not only to what a great storyteller he is, but also what a fun personality Dougall emanates. Ok that’s not the whole truth either…I also related to his issues with weight, putting Ms. Winfrey on The Highest Pedestal Possible, and the effortless ability to show his vulnerability – front and center.

Once the book was over, I still wanted more Dougall inspiration in my life. So I popped in earphones and listened to at least seven recorded radio shows archived on his web site, back to back. I decided to knock out a bunch of busy work that required little concentration to justify said multi-tasking and updated an Excel sheet of media contacts for hours, all while listening to his energetic voice interview guests in the medium industry, chat about David and Dougall’s adorable dog Bernie, and recap reality show drama.

‘Queer Guy with a Third Eye’ is his tag line. He can see people’s auras and is teaching a seminar called ‘Color is my Prozac.’ How great is that? ~ love.

                                                                   —

David helped schedule a time to speak with my new self-proclaimed BFF psychic/author/radio host/life coach. While at an out-of-town business conference, I typed up questions to get my thoughts together and as 4:30 p.m. Eastern approached, I started to feel a bit nervous, because he’s – well – famous. [Note: Famous is subjective depending on who you ask… I realize this, but the guy was booked on the Oprah Show for God’s sake, and appeared several times on BRAVO’s Real Housewives to boot]. However the second I heard his voice on the other end of the line, all of the butterflies went away, because he spoke to me as if we were already friends.

I literally lost count of how many times Dougall said throughout the conversation, “I know so-and-so at X publishing house (or agent); I’d be happy to introduce you to her.”

“It’s who you know,” he explained.

I’ve heard and even used this line before; it’s how I’ve landed 90% of my jobs to date. But the selflessness and generosity he conveyed to a near complete stranger [who secretly wishes they were BFF’s] was unexpected. He also mentioned in a very casual, matter-of-fact manner that he is grateful for how many people helped him along the way to building his career as well as getting published…and is happy to help others (like moi) do the same. Call it being nice, or call it karma ~ love.

I may or may not have done a few twirls and hops in my hotel room after chatting for an hour.

                                                                   —

The first time David and I spoke, on what should have just been another sales pitch 60 second call, I told him that this all “feels like serendipity.” We’ve been swapping social media strategies, dishing on my life with Mr. Big, and genuinely forming a bi-coastal friendship. Meanwhile I feel an undeniable connection to a warm, sensitive, spiritual, intuitive, and absolutely hilarious animated man out of the closet, David’s partner.

Dougall shared invaluable insight and sentiments with me, and I will always be thankful. There is no doubt in my being that I was meant to cross paths with him for a purpose beyond a glorified albeit sincere gay man crush.

Despite all of the learnings and dream fulfillment networking I’ve piled up in hopes of becoming a published author, the most moving takeaway from this entire experience thus far, is getting a small glimpse of the affection they have for one another.

When I opened the hardcover for the first time and read his short and simple dedication, “For David, for everything” – I melted in my chair.

David had me at hello. Dougall had me from the very first page.

Case in point. When they met face-to-face for the very first time…

Page 236: “His head tilted to the side as he gave me a shy smile. As we made eye contact, these words passed through my mind: I love you.”

~love, is love