March 2010
48 posts
“The most authentic thing about us is our capacity to create, to overcome, to...”
– Ben Okri
5 tags
Couch potatos.
One full month in relationship remission, and I’m starting to feel the detox effects. The extreme anger has subsided, thoughts of imposing physical harm have all but dwindled, and I can’t remember the last time I shed a tear. The final chapter of Mr. Ex escapades is quickly becoming a distant memory in the rear view mirror of my memory.
Can I get an Amen?
All the while, I’ve been steadily, but...
5 tags
Free & clear plan.
Generally speaking, I try to avoid pity parties. But couple that with 1) Monday 2) A dreary, rainy sky and 3) Receiving a jolting call from my private parts Doc – the “would you like some cheese with your whine” invitation was near impossible to avoid.
Tipping Point: While Facebook’s news feed is inundated with pictures of preggers bellies and manicured fingers sporting new flashy diamonds, I’m...
4 tags
Spring forward.
Spring is here. I know that, not only because the calendar told me so, but annoying allergies have barreled through my runny nose & itchy eyes like a freight train. With full disclosure of sounding disgustingly corny, I am looking forward to leveraging the symbolism of the season.
Funnily enough though, I was doing the exact same thing at the exact same time one year ago: getting to know...
5 tags
Skin deep.
To claim I have admirable skin [from a superficial, western society standpoint anyway] would be a bold face lie, similarly as fake & baking inside a bright plastic casket…but playing the end result off as if it came from a day of fun in the sun. There is pretty much nothing envy-worthy that comes from my epidermis along with its 2 deeply layered counterparts.
My outer shell strictly serves as...
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”
– Maya Angelou
“You know what it’s like getting up every morning? Feeling hopeless, feeling like...”
– Hitch
6 tags
Homework.
My friend for hire [the lady I pay to listen and give me advice] gave me homework after our 1st happy hour together – write a letter to Mr. Ex letting it all out – don’t hold back, then shred & dispose of it. “But don’t actually give it to him.”
I wonder if she’ll be excited or upset that I not only completed the HW like an obedient student, but I took it up [a few] notches. I drunk dialed.
...
3 tags
I hate this part.
Recently I retold a story about a guy from India hitting on me @ a bar. I decided for various reasons not to pursue a date with said gent. He gave me his number, I wouldn’t give him mine, and we walked away with the understanding that, ”I’d call him if I wanted to get together.”
This is what happened next.
Right before I’m leaving work to attend my very first...
4 tags
Loveaholic.
Hello. My name is MaryB, and I’m a loveaholic. I admit it. I love to love. It’s what I do. Gal pals, family members, and 4-legged furry companions are regular recipients. I also thoroughly enjoy a manfriend sidekick. I’ve been off-the-market since 7th grade. That could classify me as boy crazy, but I’d like to think I am just super loveable myself [grin].
While I sort out relationship patterns...
If you love me, let me know. If not, please let me go.
4 tags
Starstruck.
March 16 Horoscope: You have been swimming in the waters of your own emotions, but now you may be pulled up onto dry land. It’s time to act on your feelings, rather than just experiencing them. However your behavior could be restrained by old fears of rejection that swiftly come to the surface as you begin to swing into motion. Take a few breaths to honor your past and then push through the...
2 tags
You might be a female player if...
You keep a few condoms in every purse.
You wear sexy lingerie every day ‘cause, hey, who knows?
You go to a sex toy party and there’s no product you don’t already own.
Friends seem to think you’re a “sure thing” for their single guy friends looking for some action.
You’ve got stretch marks … around your mouth.
You’ve ruined at least three different pieces of clothing with spooge...
6 tags
Periodic table of dating.
So now that I’m walking in single lady stilettos, it has quickly become clear to me that the window shopping experience for a partner is less casual, more business.
Last night while out on the town with girlfriends celebrating our Irish ancestors, I was approached by a good looking chap who stood about 6 feet tall, very personable, funny, witty, educated, and a transplant from New Orleans. He...
“You took a part of me and I let you … and that will never happen again.”
– Christina Yang, Grey’s Anatomy
5 tags
March madness.
Closing in on week two of my road to enlightenment aka a locally based reality show version of ABC’s The Bachelorette “most dramatic rose ceremony ever” – the aftermath ride so far has literally felt like a rollercoaster. One moment I’m sad with stomach-flipping twists, and the next I’m literally laughing [out loud] at the ridiculousness as more and more information ebb and flows my way.
The...
“Never forget that once upon a time, in an unguarded moment, you recognized...”
– Elizabeth Gilbert (from her book Eat, Pray, Love)
5 tags
An apple a day keeps the assholes away.
There is nothing I love more than a 3-course meal of delicious irony. Although frankly, sometimes I have a hard time believing that perfectly layered stories unraveling as though scripted by a brilliant screenplay writer aren’t all that coincidental. Maybe it is really just God up there crafting scenes for our amusement to keep us entertained as we navigate the complexities of life.
Weeks...
3 tags
Golden questions.
I grew up in an upper middle class, caucasian, suburban household under strict Catholic parents with rigid rules. And while, scientifically speaking, I should probably be attracted to what is most “familiar” to me, I’ve always gravitated toward pigmented testosterone prototypes for my partners. Jokingly, my family would blame it on my *ethnic past life* — but I’m...
“Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you’ve...”
– Mark Twain
3 tags
How Mary Got Her Groove Back.
Over the last week I’ve spent an extraordinary amount of time thinking through, analyzing, fact-finding, and internalizing the façade that was my former faux relationship. I even lost sleep for the first several days, waking up at all hours of the night, with the inconceivable deception weighing heavily on my mind. What I ultimately netted out was that I’ll simply never truly understand what his...
3 tags
Insanity.
Part of the 12-step breakup aftermath program is purging reminders of the now Mr. Ex [Editor’s Note: He will no longer maintain the title of Mr. Big moving forward]. Since our last and final round only lasted 3 months, and the fact he barely visited my apartment, there wasn’t a ton of physical items to dispose of.
A special photo from years ago of him wrapping his arms around me...
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.”
1 tag
Happily ever after.
According to a new study done at the Geneva School of Business, the likelihood of success in a marriage can actually be predicted with mathematical precision. Researchers claim to have cracked the formula for wedded bliss: The woman should be five years younger than the man, from the same background, and 27 percent more intelligent. I’m assuming that 27 percent is the difference between a...
“I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”
– Martin Luther King Jr.
5 tags
Beautiful flower.
I was blessed with baby blues, thanks to relentless recessive genes, along with every family member in my inner and outer DNA circle. As far back as the single digit years, I’ve been wearing glasses to help my lightly tinted but deeply blurred vision. Nearsightedness is all I’ve ever known.
Last night I was told to listen to a song called Gravity. My dear friend recommended that I hear it, given...
1 tag
Rocky Balboa.
“The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place It will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me or nobody is going to hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit, it is about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much can you take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is...